Police Chase

Why is it that every time someone sees a police chase on TV, they think that one of us here at StuffAndThings is involved? First of all, our police chases are never televised, because they never happen. When the police chase us, they chase only ghosts and wind. When they follow us into a dark alley, we are not there; and they are only met by their own nightmares.

Recently, a woman was seen fleeing the police in Los Angeles in a U Haul:

A text or two was received during the chase by the stuff and things staff, simply reading, "Is that u running from the police? Pls txt me that isn't U!" And then, "4 the luv of G, just pull over!"

Let us here be clear. We never would be caught dead running from the cops in a U Haul truck. Not even the dodgiest of criminals would go there. If, for the sake of argument, we had "gone there," you can rest assured it would have gone down differently. First off, we would have escaped, and when the police caught up to the van, they would have come up against the meanest attack baboons ever. With weapons training from Hunter S Thompson, philosophy from Gary Busey, and speaking only German, the cops would have spent days in protracted, wild battle.

There would have also been many spectacular explosions, which strangely, would not have hurt anyone, but made them pause and contemplate entropy and change and where their lives are headed.

So next time you see a ridiculous car chase on the telly, do not jump to conclusions about the StuffAndThings Staff being involved. If we are involved, it is only a distraction and we are long gone.

STUFFANDTHINGS, AWAY and HO!

The Shoes

We here at Stuff &Things usually like to avoid all stuff and things having to do with the almost-not-President Bush. However, we figure that if every news program in America is spending all its time and energy talking about the shoe mishap, then we should perhaps say a lil sumfin too. Here it goes:

Holy crap. That Iraqi just did the very thing that we've been dreaming of doing for years. What guts! What glory! We at Stuff & Things barely have the balls to throw shoes at the president of the PTA, let alone the President of the United States. We are also having a hard time deciding which shoe we should throw. There is high probability that those shoes will not be returned to its throwing owner. This rules out our custom Glen Campbell rhinestone cowboy boots and our New Kids on the Block high tops. All that's left is our super stoner flip-flops and this is just simply out of the question.

We would like to commend President Bush on his cat-like skills and reflexes. Whether you are dodging drafts or dodging shoes, you've got some sweeeeeet moves!